FEBRUARY 7, 2025
Mondays, Am I Rite?
Mondays,
Am I Rite?
hoooo boy. Its MONDAY. Again. how dis keep happening.
I, Etta (CEO of Barketing, Head of Good Vibes, Supreme Office Napper) have arrived at werk. the hoomans??? They? Look?? ROUGH?? i say hello 2 everyone, which is just me standing in da middle of da office wagging a lot & hoping sumone acknowledges my greatness.
NO ONE DO.
Geoff from writing walk by with coffee. he is already DEAD in the eyes. I follow him. he does not pet me. this is unforgivable
8:37 AM—Someone drop a bagel. This? This is my moment.
8:37:02 AM—Bagel gone. vanishes. like magic. who is 2 say what happen 🤷♀️
10:12 AM—my bestie Matt from creative finally notice me. he say “who’s a good girl” and I forget all my problems. matt is da best. love him. would die for him.
10:13 AM—Matt say “brb got a client call” and leave. betrayal.
11:00 AM—Geoff is eating again. He still does not pet me. I bark at him to establish dominance. he tells me to be quiet. I am filled with rage.
12:00 PM—Lunch time. hoomans go 2 lunch without me. I stare at the door. Life is meaningless.
1:00 PM—someone says “we have a client presentation at 2” and now everyone running. printers beeping. powerpoint slides flying. marketing lady whispering “oh my god I forgot the ROI slide” and I, Etta, know... this is gonna be a mess.
2:05 PM—client arrives. I bark to show my strength. Daddy Timmy say “Etta shhhh” which rude. Client say “oh wow a dog in the office!” so now I do my best cute face and wiggle my whole body. The client love me. The presentation is now 10x better because of my vibes. I should be on payroll.
3:30 PM—nap under conference table.
4:00 PM—Geoff drop half a granola bar. his fault. my gain. I eat it before he can react. he say “etta STOP” but his eyes say “you’re so powerful and beautiful” so its fine.
5:30 PM—hoomans shutting down computers. getting coats. I, Etta, prepare for the sad part. The part where they leave me. Mondays, am I rite???
See u all tomorrow for another day of corporate chaos, more crimes against bagels, & Geoff still not petting me. maybe one day. maybe.
Xoxo,
Etta
CEO of Barketing
hoooo boy. Its MONDAY. Again. how dis keep happening.
I, Etta (CEO of Barketing, Head of Good Vibes, Supreme Office Napper) have arrived at werk. the hoomans??? They? Look?? ROUGH?? i say hello 2 everyone, which is just me standing in da middle of da office wagging a lot & hoping sumone acknowledges my greatness.
NO ONE DO.
Geoff from writing walk by with coffee. he is already DEAD in the eyes. I follow him. he does not pet me. this is unforgivable
8:37 AM—Someone drop a bagel. This? This is my moment.
8:37:02 AM—Bagel gone. vanishes. like magic. who is 2 say what happen 🤷♀️
10:12 AM—my bestie Matt from creative finally notice me. he say “who’s a good girl” and I forget all my problems. matt is da best. love him. would die for him.
10:13 AM—Matt say “brb got a client call” and leave. betrayal.
11:00 AM—Geoff is eating again. He still does not pet me. I bark at him to establish dominance. he tells me to be quiet. I am filled with rage.
12:00 PM—Lunch time. hoomans go 2 lunch without me. I stare at the door. Life is meaningless.
1:00 PM—someone says “we have a client presentation at 2” and now everyone running. printers beeping. powerpoint slides flying. marketing lady whispering “oh my god I forgot the ROI slide” and I, Etta, know... this is gonna be a mess.
2:05 PM—client arrives. I bark to show my strength. Daddy Timmy say “Etta shhhh” which rude. Client say “oh wow a dog in the office!” so now I do my best cute face and wiggle my whole body. The client love me. The presentation is now 10x better because of my vibes. I should be on payroll.
3:30 PM—nap under conference table.
4:00 PM—Geoff drop half a granola bar. his fault. my gain. I eat it before he can react. he say “etta STOP” but his eyes say “you’re so powerful and beautiful” so its fine.
5:30 PM—hoomans shutting down computers. getting coats. I, Etta, prepare for the sad part. The part where they leave me. Mondays, am I rite???
See u all tomorrow for another day of corporate chaos, more crimes against bagels, & Geoff still not petting me. maybe one day. maybe.
Xoxo,
Etta
CEO of Barketing
